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Schrödinger's Pussy
Observing a box has never been this much fun
Things that make me cringe 
1st-Mar-2007 08:32 am
Grr
Folks, a person's name is a very important thing to them. It's part of your identity. If you are introduced to someone, use the name they give you at introduction, not some school yard mangling or truncating for your convenience. It's rude, disrespectful, and ignorant.

One of the managers insists on calling me Debby. Notice the spelling, she even decided that was the spelling she would use. I was waiting for a time when she called me that when no one else was around so that I could gently ask her to call me Deb or Debra. Yesterday during a meeting with just me and her for information exchange, she wrote a reminder to herself to tell a vendor about me and wrote Debby. I asked her, nicely but emphatically, "please use Debra when you introduce me to Tony" and she grunted something and never changed her note. A few moments later, the CEO walked by and she said to the CEO "Debby is going to..." and the CEO stopped her, eyes wide, and said "It's Debra!" I love the CEO. Love, love, LOVE.

I'm just not going to respond when people call me Debby/Debbie/Debi/whatever variation that isn't Deb or Debra. When they can't get my attention, I'll just tell them that I didn't realize they were addressing me. My name is NOT Debby.

Debbie did Dallas. Call me Debby will do Damage. Gods, I lose respect so quickly for people who do this. I hate that in every place I've ever worked, people don't start paying attention to this detail until I have to make a stink. Gently asking never seems to work.
Comments 
1st-Mar-2007 02:05 pm (UTC)
I once had a guy say to me "I miss my Diane" and I responded with "Who? Maybe you'd better be calling her then, because I don't know anyone of that name"

We didn't work out. For several reasons, starting with the word "my".

Go CEO person!
1st-Mar-2007 02:15 pm (UTC)
She's a former cheerleader and prom queen. The rare kind you adore. She's a force to be reckoned with, for which I have oodles of respect and admiration.
(Deleted comment)
1st-Mar-2007 02:17 pm (UTC)
... As an aside, I accidentally typed "smack your bum," which is an entirely different topic of conversation. xD

Now that is total Debby behvior!!!
1st-Mar-2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
I have a totally different picture of Debbies. My Aunt Debbie is pretty smart, and AFAIK, doesn't smack her gum or twirl her hair.
2nd-Mar-2007 07:50 pm (UTC)
THANK YOU!
1st-Mar-2007 03:23 pm (UTC)
oh i *so* hear you. i don't mind that some people feel comfortable enough to call me "Katie." one of the local ministers/library supporters does it, and he's like a grandpa-type, so it's okay. i get really cheesed off, though, when someone refers to me as "Katherine" or "Kathy." it'd be one thing if that actually was my name, but it's NOT and i've never introduced myself to anyone as that. argh.

related, but not... often when Ben and i are talking about a conversation one of us had with "Deb," we often have to preface that with "takarosa-Deb" or "sherdeb-Deb," which sounds silly but makes total sense (:
1st-Mar-2007 04:08 pm (UTC)
BAH! I completely agree with you. My name it Krista, it's not Kris, Kristy, Kristal, or anything else of the sort!

What's your manager's name? Maybe you could accidentally slip on hers?

If you ever were a Debbie, you would need chaps!
1st-Mar-2007 04:47 pm (UTC)
I hear you. There's a short form that only my family uses, and I only sign myself that way when emailing them. If someone else calls me that, I just look at them suspiciously. :)
I was really surprised to encounter alternate spellings of my name, I thought it was really simple, but every so often an H appears, or the E disappears.
1st-Mar-2007 05:13 pm (UTC)
It's weird that I have never thought of you as Debby/Debbie. It sounds so WRONG for you that it would never even pop in my head as a possibility. It's funny because while I've read your journal for years now, we've only met a few times, but the impression has stuck. Debby=Noooooo.

I used to do a double-take when [Unknown LJ tag] referred to herself as Jen, because I always think of her as "seph", to the point that I would probably address her that way if I ever met her. :) (Though she's another one that I would never consider a Jenny.)

My mom's name is Linda, so people just assume that my name is a shortening of Linda, which it is not. My mom didn't want to name me anything so close to her name, but my dad won out. Everyone always tries to call me Linda because I think they believe it's more correct. I get calls at work all the time for Linda, even though I pronounced my name very clearly when meeting them/leaving them messages. It irks me. I always say there is no Linda here. I will even correct people mid-conversation and they will still call me Linda. WTF? They are two completely different names! What is up with people who think they know better than you what your name is?

Debby or even Linda could be an honest mistake once, but for someone to keep doing it, that's just obnoxious.
1st-Mar-2007 05:21 pm (UTC)
One further thing that pisses me off majorly is that when you correct a person for using the completely wrong name, they act chagrined and apologize. But when you correct them on the format of your name, they act like you're the one being unreasonable and get an attitude of "whatever."
1st-Mar-2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
How incredibly rude. It sounds like she may be intimidated and is trying to put you down. Bah.

I had a boss once who renamed me. He said Alexandra was too long, and when I offered up Alex I was told that it's a "boy's name." So he came up with Alexa, which I hated. For my birthday he got me a cake which said, "Happy Birthday Alexa." Another woman who worked there came in, I offered her some cake and she got very confused and asked if they couldn't fit my entire name on it. :)
1st-Mar-2007 05:47 pm (UTC)
I don't think she did it to intimidate, though I certainly have had others do that. Personally, I suspect it's a respect thing. It's possible she sees me as a junior sort of position. Almost a motherly thing. I reserve the right to change my mind later if she shows me otherwise.

Your boss really was a dolt about your name. *shakes head*
1st-Mar-2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
I have an even better renaming story. At my very first job, there was already a girl there named Stephanie. The office manager told me that it would be too confusing to have 2 people with the same name and that I had to choose a new name for myself. I chose a nickname my college friends used to call me. 6 months later, the other Stephanie left and I went back to using my real name, which confused a lot of people who thought the nickname was my real name.

The office manager always insisted that the name change was my idea. Yeah right.
1st-Mar-2007 07:26 pm (UTC)
I sympathize. I prefer Tiffany and can tolerate Tiff is it's from a close friend and not just someone being lazy. But Tiffy? Makes me see red. Only my mom can get away with it, and even then I frown a little.

It's just disrespectful. If Debra seems too formal for her or something, why not go for Deb? Purposefully calling you the wrong name just smacks of trying to put you in your place or belittle you in some way. Jerk.
1st-Mar-2007 07:37 pm (UTC)
It's frustrating to have to explain to people who don't get it that I like my name. I don't understand why people get put out when I ask to be called Debra when they want to use some other version. And then I also get a lot of people who say "well my {sister, cousin, friend, babysitter} goes by Debbie so it's just the first thing I say." Like that makes it make sense. *shrug*
1st-Mar-2007 10:45 pm (UTC)
Oh, I hear you on this. My name is Callasandra, and most people call me Callie. "Cal" is absolutely not okay. Neither is "Cassandra," "Cassie," or "Cammie," all of which I have been called in the last 6 months or so.
1st-Mar-2007 11:22 pm (UTC)
Heh. People who call me Stephie get the same treatment. I fucking HATE being called Stephie. There's only one perspon who can get away with it, and that's my Aunt Pat. Anyone else who tries it gets ripped a new one.
1st-Mar-2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
Stephanie is a beautiful name to whisper
1st-Mar-2007 11:33 pm (UTC)
*blush*

*speechless*
2nd-Mar-2007 01:29 am (UTC)
*smile* words aren't always necessary
2nd-Mar-2007 02:08 pm (UTC) - ARGH!!!
There's one person on this planet I allow to call me Jenny without wanting to tear his head off, and that's because he knows me from waaaaay back when I was a little girl and that's the name I went by. Anyone else calls me that, I just play stupid like I don't even hear them. Usually that gets the point across the quickest. People like to be responded to when they're addressing you, so by ignoring them when they call you the wrong name and responding when the address you correctly you teach them how to get your attention.

If she let's Debby (it hurts just to type it) slip mid-conversation when ignoring her wouldn't work, I'd just reply with "Who?" Every.damn.time. Hopefully she'll get tired of it before you do.
2nd-Mar-2007 07:49 pm (UTC)
I totally agree with you on all points except everything said about Debbie.
12th-Mar-2007 01:24 am (UTC)
I totally hear you. I'm Kristin. I simply don't reply to Krissy or Kristine (there's 1 of each at my current job), nor to Kristi, Kristina, Kirstin, Kris, ad nauseum ad infinitum.

And for simplicity sake, I'm leaving out the scads of various spellings for the above names.

Now, there have been a FEW people allowed to call me Kris. Very few. And my first softball coach called me Tiger, which I adored. Rar!

But as our local SCA group has a Kristin (me), Kristen (SCA - Calendra), Kirsten (mundane - Donna), and Christina (mundane - Terri), I go by Bevin anytime I'm around SCAdians. To the point that my roommate frequently calls me Bevin rather than Kristin.

And I called her Rach once or twice, but erked when she called me Kris. So it's Rachael & Kristin, or Johanna & Bevin.
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