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Schrödinger's Pussy
Observing a box has never been this much fun
Starting a good week. 
12th-Feb-2007 09:30 am
Snowflake
Monday morning and my mind is in a thousand places. Brian's home today. He really should have taken a sick day or three last week, but his boss was out and he was tasked with helping the new guy get on the right track. As a result, my lovable snot monster is kicking back today and letting me herb him silly to get rid of the catarrh.

It's snowing. It's easy for me to appreciate the beauty from the warmth of my home in the woods. I'm not looking at high traffic areas making it dirty and slushy, all I see is the pristine whiteness covering the mutli-shade greens of the pines and the hues of brown from the bark of the hardwoods. This snow brings the wonderful noise-dampening silence that I adore. I imagine having to travel in it might give me a different outlook, but for now I find it very lovely.

I'm trying to puzzle something out. I find myself more and more often reading things in friend's journals and wanting to pat them on the head and say "that's nice that you have such a strong opinion. Good for you." This is a change from my normal feeling of wanting to point out the flaws in their arguments and show them that instead of getting their point across, all they've done is alienate with their bullheaded arrogance. Instead of wanting to rub their nose in their spew and show them that they aren't better than the rest of us that like what they are sneering at, I just grin and move on to the next thing. Somehow my attitude has mellowed and now I just want to pat their frenzied little noggins and smile at their agitation. This is how I am. This is how my friends will have to accept I behave. I'm ok with it.

Blame it on the new hair making me feel pretty. Blame it on a few of the right words spoken at the right time. Blame it on the few good influences sticking around in my life. Blame it on a number of things, but I'm feeling pretty good about myself and my life again. And somehow, that makes me more willing to be generous of spirit.
Comments 
12th-Feb-2007 02:46 pm (UTC)
Warm and fuzzy hugs out to you this snowy morning.
12th-Feb-2007 04:17 pm (UTC)
I find myself more and more often reading things in friend's journals and wanting to pat them on the head and say "that's nice that you have such a strong opinion. Good for you."

As I've gotten older, I find I have less emotional energy to spend. Wasting it to point out how wrong someone is seems pointless - I'd rather be happy than be right.
12th-Feb-2007 06:52 pm (UTC)
i've been thinking about this on/off all morning, since i read the original post and this reply. and i'm mixed. i often rely on friends, my real friends (not the LJ friends list only sorts) to provide me with that kick in the ass i sometimes need to realize that i'm being st00pid or bullheaded. i sometimes worry that silence = compliance, when we all know that is so not true.
12th-Feb-2007 07:16 pm (UTC)
Regrading the kick-in-the-ass part, my original thought wasn't about the way you (in particular) post You don't go off half-cocked once a week (or more) into a tirade about something inconsequential that steps all over the toes of those you care about. Actually, you are one of the folks that actually thinks about how your tirade might go over before you post it.

Sadly, regarding the compliance bit. Maybe that's one of those lessons I accidentally learned. That 'silence = compliance' is preferable than rocking the boat and taking a stand. Lawdy knows that little lesson got brought home time and again this last year. "Yes, Deb, that really was shitty on their part, but I'm not going to be the one to say anything. It's not my place."
12th-Feb-2007 08:48 pm (UTC)
It's such a hard call between speaking up as a friend and keeping your mouth shut. I try to gauge whether what I say will come as an unwelcome intrusion or not. If I think the person doing or saying X will misunderstand where I am coming from, or disregard it completely, then I'll keep my mouth shut unless asked. If I do think that whatever they are doing/saying will cause them irreparable harm, then I feel obligated to speak up.

*hug* Miss you, pretty lady. :)
12th-Feb-2007 08:59 pm (UTC)
I agree with the feeling obligated if I see a train wreck situation. People don't always want to hear that, even from a close friend. Just gotta take your chances. Still, you can tell them what you see in such a way that they might listen, or you can bulldoze in and alienate them.

But what I was referring to wasn't about "big stuff." Nah, it's about little things that really aren't worth getting all up in someone's stuff about, really. Sometimes people don't say "I don't like lasagna." They say "I hate the stuff with a violent passion and can't fathom why you idiots seem addicted to that shit." One is just a statement of preference. The other comes off as a moral judgement. I keep seeing this on the topic of literature, television, recycling, jewelry, and pop culture. Stuff that affects us, but is not something to be arrogant about.
13th-Feb-2007 01:58 pm (UTC)
IMO, you're taking other people's journals way too seriously if you're feeling judged by things other people write, especially if they're trivial things that aren't directed at all to you.

I'm hoping this isn't in reply to my stupid diamond rant because I know I've told you how important it is to me that you just come right out and tell me straight if I say something that rubs you the wrong way.

But the whole "pat their frenzied noggins" does -sound- rather arrogant and condescending. What's the bigger offense, really, venting passionately in your personal journal about something that's on your last nerve at that moment, or making a condescending and dismissive gesture at someone who is already all worked up rather than speaking your mind or even just letting it go if it's -really- not important?

I'm really not wanting to start anything here, but the head pat and smile thing really rubs me the wrong way, and I do believe in letting friends know when something they say or do pinches you. And as a friend, I just wanted to let you know now that if you ever acted that way towards me, I would not take it well. Tell me I'm being stupid if you think I'm being stupid, but don't be condescending. A dismissive or condescending gesture is not a non-response to something trivial. It's an indirect challenge. If something is bothering you enough that you feel some response is necessary, by all means just speak up and say exactly what's on your mind.

All that aside, I'm glad you're feeling sassy again! :)
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