Does anyone else have a burst of insane energy, clarity, and verve just before getting hit with a cold/flu? Almost as if you know the next week or so will be hell and you want to celebrate feeling good for the little bit before being miserable? I'm betting it's not as prevalent as the euphoria you get when you realize you're recovered from an illness, when you are conscious of feeling healthy again. I mean, most everyone does that too, no?
I have that euphoria (tinged with a watercolor wash of next shoe dropping anticipation), and yet I know I'm not in the immediate before or after stage of a health issue. Truth is, I have a very mild cold at the moment, so this should be my pitiful me, I'd rather have a paper cut, stage. But all I seem to do is boggle at how happy I feel right now. Then reign it in (thank you, weasels). Put this on continual loop and you have my headspace. Sort of like the last two paragraphs where I talk about awesome, tinged with anxiety.
One thing I really have zero tolerance for is being talked to dismissively. There are a ton of polite, constructive ways to say "I don't have the time to go over this right now, let's talk later." Spitting out sarcasm so fast you're unintelligible and insisting you need to "step outside" (a non-smoker) while just being rude (enough that one of their employees said "I think you need to apologize.") and then not getting back with me for over 4 hours is one of those red buttons for me. After I stopped being insulted and upset by it, I found a way that they are no longer necessary for me to move forward with my work. I understand that they are of the "I must be the hero" ilk, but youth and exuberance really aren't any match for age and experience. I am a hero by nature, therefore, I have no need to expend energy making others think I'm all that and that elusive bag of chips. mmmm...chips. *considers a run to the store*
My manager asked for 10 minutes of my time yesterday. I always feel like I've been called to the principal's office when management says this. So, in I trot, to be sat down for an impromptu performance review. They list March 1 for my yearly review. They have a new on-line performance review system that allows you to comment on things and have your manager comment as well. Got a brief overview of this and told how she'd like me to use it. Then she went over what she's been documenting on the system for the last month or two.
I have been described, glowingly, using the following words/terms: relied upon, responds quickly, dedicated to success, work delivered promptly and accurately, independent worker who needs minimal supervision, timely manner, assumes full responsibility, efficient and enjoyable to work with, excellent job of dealing with change, uses judgement, experience and positive outlook to achieve results, doing an excellent job, has determination and skills to get results, made the web page easy to use, attractive and inviting, an open-minded person, good listener, built a good rapport, persistent, created a better working atmosphere.
She had no complaints. Not one. I can still list all the mistakes I've made since starting there 9 months ago, so I know I have direction and room to grow, but damn, this was re-energizing. If I were asked when I was a young woman just starting out "how would you like to be defined in your employment?" I believe I would have chosen all of these terms in hopes of being that one day.
I am looking forward to making my spaghetti sauce tomorrow, and spaghetti noodles as well, home-made herb bread...and staying warm and cozy with my guy. I believe a Yule tree will be chosen and put up. Other than that, it's a plan-free weekend of well deserved cuddly down time. Oh yes...and I owe some lovely women emails, which will be delivered soonish! I promise!!