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Schrödinger's Pussy
Observing a box has never been this much fun
11th-Jan-2008 08:09 am

So, yesterday I drugged myself with everything I could and slogged out to give the Madame Manners speech (which was really fun and very well received). Then I got Brian and made him take my wobbly arse to the Rite Aid so I could harass the pharmacist.

Yes! They do INDEED keep the old formula of NyQuil behind the counter! Yes, you must give them your drivers license (no NyQuil for illegal immigrants!) and sign a form, but then they put this liquid miracle into your hands.

I took it at 10 last night. I accidentally woke up this morning at 7:30. Me! The "wake every two hours around the clock" sleeper! I GOT SLEEP! *bliss*

Dennis Leary on NyQuil
"I don't do illegal drugs anymore. Now I just do the legal drugs. Tonight I'm on NyQuil and Sudafed. Let me tell you something, folks. Forget about cocaine and heroine. All you need is NyQuil and Sudafed. I'm telling you right now, I took the NyQuil five years ago. I just came out of the coma tonight before the fucking show! Claus Vanbulo was standing over my bed going, "Denis, get up! There's something the matter with Sunny! Hurry up!" I love NyQuil. Man, I love it! I love it. I love it. I love it. It's the best thing shit ever invented. Isn't it, huh? I love the name alone. NyQuil - Capitol N, small Y, big fucking Q! I love that fucking Q, don't you!? What a great advertising idea! Put a huge fucking Q on the box. They'll get high and stare at it. "The Q is talking to me! The Q is talking to me!"

I love NyQuil, man. Because NyQuil has never changed, man. It's never changed. All the other medicines are doing that inner-child thing. "we know that there's a small child inside of you, so now we have grape and cherry and orange flavor." Not NyQuil! They still have the original green death fucking flavor! You know why!? Because it doesn't matter what it tastes like! It's so strong you go, "*wheeze* Hey this stuff really tastes like.." Bang! Yer in the coma already! "What happened?" "He said tastes like and he went right into the coma, it was unbelievable!" We have reached the point where the over the counter drugs are actually stronger than anything you can buy on the street. It says on the back of the NyQuil box, on the back of the box it says, "May cause drowsiness." It should say, "Don't make any fucking plans! Kiss your family and friends goodbye. Say hello to Klaus!" NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you! You giant fucking Q!"
11th-Jan-2008 10:37 am (UTC)
11th-Jan-2008 12:36 pm (UTC)
They still have the original green death fucking flavor!

*L* We refer to that lovingly as the "Vile Green Stuff". :)

I'm glad you're feeling better.
11th-Jan-2008 01:28 pm (UTC) - NyQuil. Tune in. Turn on. Drop off the face of the fucking planet for half a day.
I love that Dennis Leary routine (though it is 2nd place to "coffee flavored coffee"). Reading it, though, my coffee deprived brain kept trying to make "Dennis Leary" into "Timothy Leary" instead.
11th-Jan-2008 03:23 pm (UTC)

Lewis Black on Nyquil
"I like a cold because I get to do my favorite drug, which is NyQuil. I love that stuff. What do the rest of you use? Robitussin? Robitussin, why do you bother? Non-narcotic sissy pansy bullshit! NyQuil's the best thing I've ever read on a medicine package, '180 Proof.' It's the moonshine of medicine. You can buy it on a holiday! When I got a cold, I want something that's gonna fuck me up! Cause that way the blur seems interesting."

"NyQuil comes in two colors, red and green. It's the only thing on the planet that tastes like...red and green. And red and green are what? Christmas colors! That's right, NyQuil makes a dandy eggnog. Oh yeah, my friends bitched through the whole party, 'This tastes like shit!' But at the end of it, we had a fun sleepover."

So, shall I pick up an extra bottle? ;)
11th-Jan-2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
Ahhh, two of my all time favorite comedians. Lewis Black and Dennis Leary...

I am glad you are feeling better. ;)
12th-Jan-2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
HAHAH, awesome! I hope you're better by now.
14th-Jan-2008 10:19 am (UTC)
I just have to chime in and say Yes, to the NyQuil and Damn do I love that icon.

By the by, have you been checking out Cloverfield?
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