Sometimes, when we are in the midst of an unpleasant environment, we normalize it. We stop noticing the bad smell, or the annoying sound, or the less than ideal temperature. When it's pervasive, it becomes normalized to make it easier to deal with.
And this is why I woke up realizing that I am covered in weasels and breathing their noxious fur.
No one has the ability to get me out of this, save myself. However, some people make it easier to keep wanting to slough them off. And that's more important than anything because I realize that I can't operate in a Hermitage vacuum.
The weasels have velcro feet. It's really difficult to get them to unstick and not reattach. The worst of the bunch sounds like my mother these days. "you're a failure because of your weight." Yeah...that's what everything is revolving around. What a crock of shit. I thought I had gotten rid of that issue. My weight and my successes/failures are not related. Life does not reward or punish me based on what the scale says. So why do I keep waking up thinking that?
I haven't felt like myself in so long that I'm not sure I can get back to the person I was. I don't want to normalize who I am now, however. Time to reinvent, reorganize, and retool.
Time to shoot some frakkin' weasels. I wonder if the shooting range would let me pin some of them up as targets. I want some satisfaction of fur flying.