I keep trying to break the Facebook habit. I broke my Twitter habit a while back and that feels right. Facebook is far more addictive.
By breaking the habit, I don’t mean giving it up, what I mean is that I find that I’ve gotten into the habit of compressing myself into 140 characters with Twitter and 420 characters with Facebook. I don’t think I’m doing myself any favors by editing this severely.
I fancy myself a writer. They tell you that the current fashion is to write and then edit out 1/4 of your words. Readers today want things fast and furious. Keep them engaged. Keep them moving forward. But that’s not me. I am verbose. If I don’t get this stuff out, then it spins in my head until it’s worn grooves that I have to fight my way out of to get any relief and new ideas.
I still read through my Twitter feed daily. I get a handful of messages to my phone, the rest I read online. I don’t play many games on Facebook to avoid feeling obligated to continue. I check my FB to see what folks are up to. I have modified my views so that I’m really only seeing what my friends and favorite places are up to.
And I do not judge anyone who favors the brevity of Facebook or Twitter, or who enjoy the games. I just want a broader canvas to play upon.
I am not a person who enjoys a lot of social interaction. I am a hermit. But I do need some, and I treasure what I do have. I don’t talk on the phone and because of living in a remote area, I don’t do casual drop in visiting. But I care deeply about my friends and what is going on in their lives, and that’s why I follow their lives and interact with them on LJ and Facebook and Twitter and through IM. I am not a great friend for people who need to have more contact, but I’m still a fantastic friend if you can forgive my reclusivity.
I’ve looked back at my LJ and Wordpress posts over the years and I documented many things that I don’t ever want to forget. The stuff from Facebook and Twitter just don’t fill that niche. I’ve lost so many little bits in the two years that I would have liked to remember and would have if I had not fallen out of my blogging discipline.
I fully realize and admit that my writing here is for my future self. Whether that’s the me of later today or in a few years from now. I want to remember how I felt, how I reacted, what was important, what mattered.
Honestly, I feel hollow right now. I’ve let stress define me. I’ve unraveled. I’ve frogged the fabric I knit myself from, and now I need to start over. I don’t remember making this a conscious decision, and I’m not pleased with the lost time. It’s obviously time to regroup and rebuild.
Anyway, I’m trying to get back into the habit of writing and blogging and recording my life because, when I’m really living it, it’s proven to be a truly amazing story. And I just don’t want to lose sight of that.
Originally published at Stage 3: bohemian. You can comment here or there.