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Schrödinger's Pussy
Observing a box has never been this much fun
Mental Spring Cleaning 
13th-Apr-2010 08:32 am

I keep trying to break the Facebook habit. I broke my Twitter habit a while back and that feels right. Facebook is far more addictive.

By breaking the habit, I don’t mean giving it up, what I mean is that I find that I’ve gotten into the habit of compressing myself into 140 characters with Twitter and 420 characters with Facebook.  I don’t think I’m doing myself any favors by editing this severely.

I fancy myself a writer.  They tell you that the current fashion is to write and then edit out 1/4 of your words. Readers today want things fast and furious. Keep them engaged. Keep them moving forward. But that’s not me. I am verbose.  If I don’t get this stuff out, then it spins in my head until it’s worn grooves that I have to fight my way out of to get any relief and new ideas.

I still read through my Twitter feed daily. I get a handful of messages to my phone, the rest I read online. I don’t play many games on Facebook to avoid feeling obligated to continue. I check my FB to see what folks are up to. I have modified my views so that I’m really only seeing what my friends and favorite places are up to.

And I do not judge anyone who favors the brevity of Facebook or Twitter, or who enjoy the games. I just want a broader canvas to play upon.

I am not a person who enjoys a lot of social interaction. I am a hermit. But I do need some, and I treasure what I do have. I don’t talk on the phone and because of living in a remote area, I don’t do casual drop in visiting.  But I care deeply about my friends and what is going on in their lives, and that’s why I follow their lives and interact with them on LJ and Facebook and Twitter and through IM.  I am not a great friend for people who need to have more contact, but I’m still a fantastic friend if you can forgive my reclusivity.

I’ve looked back at my LJ and Wordpress posts over the years and I documented many things that I don’t ever want to forget. The stuff from Facebook and Twitter just don’t fill that niche. I’ve lost so many little bits in the two years that I would have liked to remember and would have if I had not fallen out of my blogging discipline.

I fully realize and admit that my writing here is for my future self. Whether that’s the me of later today or in a few years from now. I want to remember how I felt, how I reacted, what was important, what mattered.

Honestly, I feel hollow right now. I’ve let stress define me.  I’ve unraveled.  I’ve frogged the fabric I knit myself from, and now I need to start over. I don’t remember making this a conscious decision, and I’m not pleased with the lost time. It’s obviously time to regroup and rebuild.

Anyway, I’m trying to get back into the habit of writing and blogging and recording my life because, when I’m really living it, it’s proven to be a truly amazing story. And I just don’t want to lose sight of that.

Originally published at Stage 3: bohemian. You can comment here or there.

13th-Apr-2010 08:39 am (UTC)
FB can be a huge sinkhole for time if one plays the games (which I do, but I try to keep it down to 2-3), but also the brevity, the whole having to be short and almost cryptic or sparse about everything... Yeah. It doesn't really work for expressing a lot of things. (Won't say anything about Twitter, because I never started using mine.)

If I get to read more of your interesting posts here I am definitely not going to complain! Quite the opposite. :D I hope you can find your way back to a writing and describing the events of your life, your thoughts and feelings, that you're comfortable and happy with.

I am not a person who enjoys a lot of social interaction. I am a hermit. But I do need some, and I treasure what I do have. ...

Yes! Wow, that whole paragraph could describe me too! It's hard being reclusive or introvert and still maintain friendships, but I do what I can. And honestly, the world needs us reclusives too! *grin*
13th-Apr-2010 09:15 am (UTC)
*smiles* I love hearing from you. We don't comment frequently, but I always read the glimpses of your life you share. If you were a facebook page, I'd fan you *wink*

We hermits need to stick together, y'know!
13th-Apr-2010 08:42 am (UTC)
I can totally relate to this whole post...
I've only recently discovered that I'm inclined to a fairly reclusive and quiet life.
May I return your suggestion of Morning Pages? I just finished my 12 weeks on Sunday and went out and bought myself a special new journal so that I can continue the habit. It's done wonders in getting stuff out of my head and inspiring me to be my best self...
Hug from Deb to Deb.
13th-Apr-2010 09:16 am (UTC)
I actually have been writing daily pages for about the last 5 days. It's possible that's what is sparking this. I am so thrilled that you resonate with the Artist's Way, too.

Deb to Deb hug engaged!!
13th-Apr-2010 09:35 am (UTC)
I hear you. One day at work, after I'd left LJ, I opened up a Word file and started writing and I've been writing ever since. That writing is for me, and me alone. FB is for sharing with friends. Both forms of writing are true, in different ways.
13th-Apr-2010 09:42 am (UTC)
I regret losing touch with you. I loved reading (and occasionally being part of) the 'not for public consumption' stories.
13th-Apr-2010 09:53 am (UTC)
Really? That almost made me cry at work. I miss losing touch with you too, and often wondered if I did something to drive you away or if we just drifted apart.

Let's think of a way to reconnect. :)
13th-Apr-2010 10:22 am (UTC)
I didn't mean to make your eyes leaky! (although I admit I was feeling it as I wrote it).

I think it was just that life sort of took us on diverging paths for a bit. It certainly was nothing that you did. Now that we've noticed, we can figure out how they can meet up again!

Edited at 2010-04-13 02:22 pm (UTC)
13th-Apr-2010 10:50 am (UTC)
I would really like that. :)
13th-Apr-2010 12:30 pm (UTC)
Every time Delia starts babbling at the speed of sound Eric comments that she is completely my daughter. I guess the inability to shut up is the reason I've never understood the draw of twitter.

Oh, facebook is quick for me since I don't play any games at all.
13th-Apr-2010 02:06 pm (UTC)
I don’t get this stuff out, then it spins in my head until it’s worn grooves that I have to fight my way out of to get any relief and new ideas.

this is why i keep LJ, even though i dally with the other sites. i need a venue where i can yammer and spew and work out the things spinning around in my skull, and get some feedback. i can tell i feel better when i have opportunities (have or make them) to write and/or vent out loud with friends. i do some writing for myself, on paper, but there's a great deal of the time when i want or need feedback or validation or just a "hay, you're really not totally nuts" response (;

and despite your hermity ways, we *will* have lunch and write and drink and get to spend time together.

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