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Schrödinger's Pussy
Observing a box has never been this much fun
The yuck on the way to cool 
3rd-Jul-2011 12:21 pm
When I shut down my store in November of '04, I moved a bunch of whatever I couldn't sell into the basement. There was a lot of stuff. The plan was to sell what I could and organize the rest. Unfortunately, while I did manage to sell a bunch of stuff online, I fell into a pretty significant depression and every time I went downstairs to do something, I was swamped with a sense of regret and failure. This represented a good chunk of retirement funds that got reallocated to me trying to be in business for myself, as Brian still mentions.

About the time spring rolled around and I was trying to get myself another plan of action, I ended up missing the dismount and, as the story goes, the 'tragic flashing accident' put me out of commission for any lifting for the next 8+ months. And so...all this stuff just sat and sat.

And then the mice found stuff they could eat, and made a mess before we realized they were there and what they were doing. Truly disgusting little creatures left unchecked.

This is why I am insisting on wearing a respirator and not asking anyone for help while we strip everything out of the basement so it can be cleaned. I still think we could have called in a hazmat unit to do this for us. Could have...should have.

I agreed to start this major clean up with Brian over the three day weekend. Infortunately, I got hit with a vertigo episode yesterday. While he won't say that I did it on purpose, he did mention that perhaps some psychological factor might have been unconsciously involved. In any case, bending down to get a box and then standing up makes me feel as though I as on a tug boat in an ocean with 10' swells. It is altogether very unpleasant.

Not to mention that I feel like the only way I will get clean is with a wire brush.

The thing that is keeping me going is that this is the necessary first step to getting about 800 square feet of living space to do with what we want, and do we want that!

Brian's goals: An electronics workshop and ham shack.

My goals: An art studio and workbench

Common goals: A carpeted den area in front of the fireplace and sewing area.

There's enough room for all of these, but when I look at it today, it's years off.

Step 1: Clear it out.
Step 2: Bleach and disinfect every surface
Step 3: Tear up the concrete to replace the failing cast iron piping to the septic field
Step 4: Repair and finish floor
Step 5: Tear out insulation and spray the expanding foam to prevent any further mice
Step 6: Strip walls of stupid fake barn door wood & straw in the plaster and paint
Step 7: Fix wiring and then spray finish open ceiling.
Step 8: Make it into what we want.

I guess I'll be happy if we get steps 1-5 finished this year.

Maybe by step 6, I might see if anyone feels like lending a hand. There will be enough workspace down there for anyone with a project they want the room and company for.

For now, it's just gross and lonely work, and I really need to get back to it.
3rd-Jul-2011 04:47 pm (UTC)
I understand both feeling like you have to do it all alone and shutting down when it comes time to do it.
6th-Jul-2011 08:57 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time, I totally and completely understand where you're coming from. After a bout of really nasty depression (and a failed relationship) after I got out of grad school - and taking time off from making art as a result, it's really bittersweet getting back into it professionally, I can stop thinking about how much time I've lost and where I'd be had I not been such a mental disaster. I know it's not really the same thing, but even when I touched my tools again for the first time recently it felt like this strange mental weight and almost repulsion to them because I felt like such a fuckup. :/

Anyway, I'm really appreciative for the things you gave/traded to me and I'd love to help however possible - maybe when Kristi (the cute girl w/ the truck!) and I come back, we can help out for a few hours? I seriously have zero aversion to any grossness and am in pretty good physical shape to schlep stuff around. :)

I'm kind of rambling as we just got back from a horrifically long drive...

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